Support & Education for Adults Living in Blended Families
Sometimes living in a blended family just makes you want to run away. And sometimes a lone stepmom can cause a ripple effect through her blended family that will impact her kids/stepkids and future generations!
Stepfamily life can be a challenge to your marriage, to your kids and stepkids, and definitely to your peace of mind. Our life coaching and training will help you explore key issues for building a healthy re-marriage, caring for blender kids, honoring God in a blended family context, understanding root causes of disharmony, and more.
I’m here today to say to you . . . take a deep breath. Just be where you are and know that God has a great plan for you and your blended family. He has powerful healing and the perfect remedy for your needs. Many stepparents suffer in silence and isolation. Sometimes we have feelings we hate to admit out loud. We make judgments that don’t always look Christlike. We feel lonely when we don’t experience that ideal family love we’ve imagined.
Here’s the bottom line: Stepfamilies have always been around. Think about Abraham and the “family of promise” and how God walked with them! Think about Mary, Joseph, and Jesus! Joseph was a stepfather to Jesus! The blended family thing is not new in the Kingdom of God!
And perhaps the Body of Christ is really the ultimate BLENDED FAMILY. God wants us to live in love and reconciliation. 2 Corinthians 5 says, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation . . .”
Perhaps we’ve been called to be Christ’s ambassadors of love and reconciliation in our own blended family!
Strong marriages benefit from occasional expanded thinking, tune-ups, and wise counsel. Coaching is in person or over the phone for stepmoms and stepcouples in a blended family, or for those dating and preparing for blender success. It will help you establish a foundation for ongoing marriage/family enrichment, as well as problem-solving for the present. In the coaching process, we identify and define your strengths and challenge areas, uncover generational impact, and establish personal, couple and family goals. You’ll experience loving support and accountability, address spiritual and emotional issues, learn the language of blending, and more.
Sometimes being a stepmom can make you feel isolated and not really part of your blended family. Billy Graham said, “The influence of a mother [and stepmother] upon the lives of her children cannot be measured. They know and absorb her example and attitudes when it comes to questions of honesty, temperance, kindness, and industry.” Stepmoms have been offered an important role of influence in the blended family.
Stepmoms from our community meet weekly in a casual, small group setting. The group offers support and friendship with other stepmoms, a safe place for confidential discussion, teaching on topics that address blending family challenges, and God’s word for family success. Our goal is to bring hope, help, and God’s restoration to your blending family. No reservation required, and no charge for the meetup other than purchasing a meal or drink from the restaurant. Contact Life in the Blender for meeting times and locations.
Classes, Retreats, & Speakers
“Life in the Blender: Creating the Smart Step Family”
This class will change your heart and understanding of blended family dynamics and God’s plan for healing. The class is perfect for stepfamily couples, stepmoms, couples dating and soon to become a blended family, pastors and others who minister to blended families.
The class will provide you with:
- A safe and confidential place to share your feelings
- New understanding of the stages of a blending family and stepfamily dynamics
- Support and friendship with other blended family adults – no more isolation
- A time to draw close to the Lord, where you’ll find His peace and hope
Most of us long for Christ to rule and reign in our homes, our marriages, and the lives of our biological/step children, and to experience God’s love and joy in our lives. So how do you make this blended family thing work? God has a plan.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not on your own understanding. He will bring you solutions and straighten your path.” -Proverbs 3:5-6
“Commit your way to the Lord, trust in Him, and He will act.” Psalm 37:5.
In the Life in the Blender class, we surrender it all to God, drop-kick the past, embrace God’s good future, and learn how to be God’s catalyst for positive change in our blended families.
Options: This core class is available in several formats, including retreats, one-time talks, 10-week or a condensed class length. Contact Life in the Blender to schedule your class or speaker.
Support for Your Church
One of the best ways to prevent divorce in the next generation is by preventing re-divorce in this generation!
You are no doubt already aware that a large percentage of your church membership and our community represent blended families. Statistics are slippery, but consistently indicate that the divorce rate for first marriages is 40-50%, for second-marriages is near 65%, and for third-marriages jumps to 72%. Jesus grew up in a blended family; stepfamily is not a surprise to God. While divorce is never our preference, you know that God meets us where we are and offers His grace, forgiveness, and healing love.
Divorce rates are CRAZY! We must do something about the repeated and accepted pattern of broken marriage and family in our culture! I fear for our millennials—I call them the “divorce kids” because it’s so common for them to watch the marriages of their parents fail, repeat, and fail again.
Many couples are surprised and unprepared to handle the unique issues of stepfamily life. Blended families are often desperate for help and often mask their problems, even in their church. The guilt and shame from divorce, and then experiencing difficulty again in another marriage, can cause people to go into hiding and simply not reveal they are part of a stepfamily. This causes many to run from God and church.
Research indicates that approximately 70% of churches in American do not offer marriage ministry, and over half offer only crisis counseling to troubled stepfamilies. This approach is very rough on pastors/ministry leaders and can be too late to prevent re-divorce.
A traditional first-time marriage approach is very valuable but tends to not address the difficult dynamics of blended families. Not all stepfamilies are unhealthy, but most could benefit greatly from practical education, wisdom from the experience of others, prayer, and loving support. The church is the hope of the world and is perfectly positioned to make the difference.
We invite you to join in the fight against re-divorce. And we want to help you.
We offer pre-marriage counsel to couples preparing to marry and create a blended family. We are also available to provide support and practical education to your church staff and members. We can assist you in launching stepfamily ministry, and you and your members are welcome to participate in groups already established in our community. We offer you:
- Pre-marriage coaching and classes for couples
- A private consultation and educational session for your church leadership
- Assistance launching your own stepfamily ministry and coaching for your stepfamily ministry team
- Assistance establishing classes/life groups in your church on stepfamily dynamics and healing – great for existing stepfamilies and those preparing to marry
“encouraged in heart and united in love in Christ” – Colossians 2.
Contact Life in the Blender for more information and to schedule your free initial consultation.